A conversation with my ego

or: why you should always create instead of listen to its crap :)

Picture me sitting on the sofa/bed in my creative, my pencils are all around me and I am doodling like mad.

Ego: "that really sucks, it isn't art, remember what your teacher told you at school. You suck at art and-"

I stick out my tongue, and continue doodling.

Ego: "Stop it!"

I blow a raspberry and grab some red for good measure.

Ego: "You will fail and fail miserably. No one will love this work so just stop it already!"

I whistle along with the radio, moving to green.

Ego, spluttering: "but! but! I have the power over you, just like your teacher had when you were a little girl!"

I laugh and move on to the blue.

 

Z is for Zaza

I end my A to Z with three elfjes on Zaza! I

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Zaza
Is magic
My personal magic
Perfect for my dreams
Playful

Zaza
Is creativity
That perfect moment
When art creates itself
Flow

Zaza
I invoke
Say it loud
Feel the magic bubble
Create

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What is your creative-magic-igniting word?

Y is for yearning

Deep inside you lives an all-encompassing yearning. If you live your day to day life not knowing what it is, what it entails, all there is, is turmoil, unrest, dissatisfaction, deep fear of fulfilling your dreams.

For me, that yearning is to create art, specifically writing. Telling my stories, sharing my wisdom. 

I avoided it like the plague for most of my life. As a child I wrote poetry. Even short stories if I let myself. Then the drought came. Years of no writing. Well, I wrote, obviously, but nothing more exciting than shopping lists. This was life, for me.

Then I found the one truth about the yearning. The call is first gentle, and then gets stronger. Eventually there is no avoiding it. 

I only started to listen when I fell very ill. In the silence that followed, my dream pushed itself into the forefront of my mind. I wrote my first novel in 2004. 

A day is not complete for me if I don't write. When I write there is always a smile on my face. I get to do what I love.

The yearning is still present in me, it is something I celebrate now, as it reminds me of how powerful a life dream is.

What is your yearning? What is the dream that you have pushed away for so long?

X is for XIII

him: What are you doing?
me: Nothing. Why?
him: You look way to mischievous for nothing!

One of the things I LOVE about my yearly A to Z is that I get to celebrate our wedding anniversary for the X, as it is always around the X-posting time. Tomorrow, in fact :)

This year I thought I'd celebrate with a picture, because it really says/speaks/whatever-the-saying-is 1000 words.

I love you, Macco. I love that we can get all silly and nerdy together. I love that we have our own language (including songs!) and that we can burst out laughing with just one look.

I love that you know me through and through (even when I say I don't).

Here's to infinity (and beyond)!
Your Sylly

W is for Writing

As a writer is the fact you get to live in a world that is so much bigger than the one you see with your eyes.  There is always something lurking beyond the horizon. A part of the world that exists purely in your mind. If you are a fantasy writer, that part can be anything, from a medieval castle to an alternate world filled with steam and gorgeous Victorian clothes.

If you write scifi, you may see life on Mars or on a space ship.

Living with the world only you can see in your mind's eye can be confusing on those around you. How can you explain that something you see is perfect for a scene there and there. They aren't in your head. Of course they are confused.

You may think that it is a pity that we can't let those we love see the world we have so clearly in our minds. But we can.

It's called writing.

Write your world as clear as you can. Let your words find their way onto the paper. String them together into chapters and then in a book.

And then show your loved ones what you have always seen and what characters inhabit that world. And then, when it is all finished, you get to do it all over again, building the world beyond the horizon, filling it with characters, making it all perfect.

And then write like the wind again. Writers write, after all.

V is for Vision

On this month's new moon, I sat down to create a vision board for the coming year. It is working for/through/with me in very unexpected ways. Here are two.

HEALING

The top left is the part where my focus is now. I tripped and fell on Sunday, and got bruised severely on several places, including my ribs. Today I realized that the top left is all about nurturing and healing and day dreaming. One of the key words is the Dutch word for silence. Staying in the quiet space within helps me expand and take leaps, even, or maybe because I have bruised ribs.
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Pain
Guides me
Into my silence
Deep vision of peace
Healing
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ART

My art lives all over the vision board. Every time I look at it there are more ways of expressing I see. The most visible of all is writing. Even though this month wasn't one of the easiest months in my life, I kept up with writing A to Z.

I also created lots of art, wrote and submitted stories, found new ways to work with photography, including some favorite sites and I came up with several ideas to create with fabrics and fibers, including needle felt.

By placing creativity in the center of my map, there was no way around it. No day passes without creation.
--------------------------------
Art
Means life
Just like breathing
My hands shape beauty
Moment
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REFLECTION

No matter what happens, my vision board is there as a reminder of where I am going.

In the past I wrote lists of ideas. That never worked. I also doodled my visions. That was a clear focus always and I know I will probably doodle mine again. It fits with me.

This process was beautiful though. My vision is clear and my board helps me remember on days when it isn't so clear in my mind.
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Vision
My roadmap
Guidance for life
Art lights my path
Love
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